Complications

June 30, 2010

12:45am
It's late and I'm exhausted. Will is already in bed snoring away so he can go to work the next day. I climb into bed with a funny cramp in my stomach. I contribute it to the uterus contracting and shrinking, which is normal. But as I climb into bed, the pain gets worse and I can't sleep. It becomes clear that something's wrong. I wake Will up and tell him I need to see a doctor NOW. Forget urgent care, forget the $250 copay - I want to go to the ER.

We struggle to get me out of bed because at this point, the pain is unbearable, worse than contractions (at least you get a break every minute or so with contractions). My mom, who's staying with us, hears us and comes to help me down the stairs. They half carry me down to the garage where I guess I hyperventilated from the rapid breathing. Little stars, black spots and the sound of rushing water in my ears make me think I'm about to pass out, so Will carries me to the car.

We were planing to go back to Huntington Hospital, but at this point, we race over to San Gabriel Hospital which is just down the block. They admit us to the ER and hook me up to all sorts of machines. I don't remember much, just the ER doctor asking me a bunch of questions.

Basically, the first ER doctor thought the issue was a urinary infection and gave me something for it. Shifts changed before I was discharged and the the second ER doctor disagreed with the diagnosis and called my OB (brilliant! why didn't they do that in the first place?!). They diagnosed it as a possible uterine infection and started me on antibiotics. They wanted me to be admitted to the hospital and I said I preferred to be admitted to Huntington since they have my history. Turns out this means I'll need to be transported there by ambulance ($$$!)

4:00pm
The ambulance arrives and takes Will and I to Huntington where they have me set up in the maternity ward again. I am so thankful to be back at Huntington. Maybe it's the familiar surroundings or that I feel like it's a better hospital, but I finally feel like I'm on the road to recovery. I need to be on 3 different antibiotics for the next 48 hrs, so once again, I'm chained to the IV.

The next 48 hrs have it's ups and downs. The up side is I get to focus on getting better and I'm so grateful that my mom is here to watch Ellie at home while Will stays with me at the hospital. Down side is being away from Ellie. Every night when they take her home I sit in bed and cry. Another down side is because of the antibiotics, I can't breastfeed. We were already having difficulties with latching and now these days in the hospital put a serious crimp in my milk production. I pump every 2-3 hrs to try to simulate the milk, but, as it later turns out, it's still not enough to get the needed amount.

July 2, 2010
My OB checks on me and decides to keep me another 24 hrs. I'm part disappointed and part relieved. Disappointed that I can't go home to my baby, but relieved to have the extra 24 hrs to make sure the infection is completely gone. I'd hate to go home and then wind up back at the hospital again because the infection came back.

July 3, 2010
I'm finally discharged from the hospital. Going home gives me a feeling of apprehension, especially at night when I'm getting ready for bed. It reminds me of the night I had to go to the ER. But as the days pass, it gets better and the apprehension is replaced by sleep deprivation.

July 4 - present
The nights are a crap shoot. We pray over Ellie every night that she'll sleep well after feeding. The past 2 days have been especially hard with her being fussy before, during and after feeding. I think we've only gotten 1 hr of sleep.  But it's amazing to see her develop and grow. With the nights and days running together, sometimes I forget that she's only 2 weeks old. Everything is new to her, all bodily sensations, lights, sounds, smells and textures. It's easy to forget that when she's fussy and crying. She doesn't mean it, she's not doing it on purpose. She cries because she doesn't understand the sensations she's feeling. And every time she gives us a little smile, it erases all memory of those sleepless nights.